Big Sexy Arune.Com

The Blog Has a NEW HOME!

2005-12-30T15:01:00.000-08:00

Go check out Arune.Com to see my blog reborn.

More Polls

2005-12-25T12:45:00.000-08:00

... Is today a special day? Can't seem to remember. Haven't had time to write anything, but I figured I'd update with more polls.

You are mad Sawyer. You don't normally get mad but
when you do you go off in a rant. You like to
be cool and collected but woo boy! You better
watch out when someone ticks you off! Just try
come off your high horse every once in a while.
But one of you personality traits is that you
have patience!

Which Sawyer are you? With 11 results and hott pics!!!
brought to you by Quizilla

Tony Almeida

Which 24 Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Wolverine!

A loner by nature, you feel uncomfortable when
around those you don't know and even those you
do. You are awkward when it comes to
relationships, but fiercely loyal to those you
love.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Detective Vic Mackey. You are tough as
nails and you dont take shit from anyone. Your
eye is always on the bigger picture, and you
make sure it all goes your way. You take care
of yourself and your friends, and you never
accept defeat.

Which "The Shield" character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Damn Quizzes...The WB Edition

2005-12-11T21:19:00.000-08:00

I can't give these up, no matter how hard I try.

You would be Lex. Very few people care to look
past your reputation. Most often, you don't
get the chance to show them your compassionate
side. You can be deceitful, but that is a side
effect of being raised by someone so demanding.
(Please rate this quiz)

Smallville Character Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla

You're Angel!

Which Angel character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Can someone tell me how I'm supposed to be a tortured soul hero and the greatest super-villain of all time? That is messed up. Ah well. I'm still cool. ;)

Stupid Quizzes... Must... Resist

2005-12-11T19:15:00.000-08:00

We've all seen those "Which character are you?" quizzes online and here are some of my results:

Which "Saved By The Bell" Character Are You?

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman		95%
Spider-Man		90%
Robin		89%
Supergirl		82%
Green Lantern		80%
The Flash		80%
Wonder Woman		67%
Batman		65%
Iron Man		65%
Hulk		60%
Catwoman		20%

You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Sawyer
You scored 39% kindness, 76% courage, 57% seedy past, and 66% secretiveness!

"Baby, I am tied to a tree in a jungle of mystery. I've just been tortured by a damned spinal surgeon and a gen-u-ine Iraqi. Of course I'm serious!"

You are Sawyer. You aren't really a kind person, but you are fearless and a force to be reckoned with. Your past is full of dark secrets that you can't seem to live with. However, the worst possible thing to do is to keep everything locked up inside! Have a few more slumber parties by the campfire with Kate, and maybe you'll finally be able to get that weight off your chest.

Your polar opposite is: Walt
You are similar to: Kate and Locke.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 6% on kindness
You scored higher than 99% on courage
You scored higher than 89% on seedy past
You scored higher than 83% on secretiveness

Link: The Which Lost Character Are You Test written by ack_attack on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

What Now?

2005-12-08T23:14:00.000-08:00

As you've all noticed, the blog has been abandoned during the school year, because it's simply too time consuming to produce these long insights and to find fun links everyday. My current plan is to make every Friday the day to update the blog, though that's subject to change. I've got two computers, the new one where I work from often but lack a good HTML and FTP set of programs, so it necessitates the old one for such work. It's not time consuming, but annoying to do and it delays updates.

To that end, I'm ending the "Why We Fight" segment as we know it, but it'll be back in the form of "Not Fade Away" commentary, in which I'll briefly address issues that I feel merit some discussion. It'll hopefully inspire some added commentary.

The posts next week will include a comparison of the "X3" and "Superman Returns" trailers, spotlighting what I like and dislike about both.

Any suggestions? Why do you come here and what do you want to see?

For those who appreciate political blogging, check out my buddy, Kurt Ingram, whose blog on Canadian politics is interesting. And apparently Toyota dealerships suck in Canada too.

2005-12-08T16:17:00.000-08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

I Need My Stories Too, Dammit!

2005-12-08T15:32:00.000-08:00

For those who watch The Colbert Report on Comedy Central, you likely caught Colbert's week long defense of his excitement over Rick Springfield returning to General Hospital, by saying "I need my stories." I'll finally write that defense of soap operas and explain why none of you- yeah, I mean YOU- cannot make fun of my love for daytime programming. After all, it's not like I watch NBC soaps: those are horrible.

WHY WE FIGHT: The Final Edition

2005-12-08T15:26:00.000-08:00

{WHY WE FIGHT is leaving, but here's one last look at what could have been. And yes, this is a bit over-dramatic in places, but it was also an English essay on which I scored 96%, so there!}

From the moment we enter the world, we find ourselves naked in more ways than one, crying out with every new sensation we experience and questioning this strange new world. Our emotions are on display for all to see, but while the collective coos and screams from our infant mouths may seem chaotic, we’re asking the question that will echo throughout our lives: “why?” This intrinsic desire to know more than one does permeates every fiber of our being, and, in a way, it is the unconscious reason behind so many of our actions, forcing us to move forward in the hopes of learning more. I’m not sure that anyone will ever truly answer the question of “why?” to a degree that satisfies all curiosity, but I believe that we all find truths in life that aid in smoothing out the confusion brewing within us, screaming at the most primal level. Throughout my entire life, there has been no single person, place or event that has helped answer my question of “why?” as greatly as comic books.

The four-color panels of comic books have jumped out at me since I was a child, and I first spied a glance at my cousin’s collection of comics that featured heroes in seemingly magical garbs who could accomplish the greatest of feats because they were the “good guys.” The inherent nature of these tales-- both ridiculous and illogical- didn’t occur to me and it wasn’t something to which I gave much care at the tender age of five. Instead, I found myself enamored by the idea that people could triumph in the world, despite their secret identities as bumbling outcasts (a description that resonated with my self-view), and find victory through the righteousness of their own quests, when I had already found that my skin color and ethnicity prevented me from being accepted by the overwhelmingly Caucasian population in school. Though the chants of “stupid Packy ( a racial slang used to address those with brown skin)” and “my mommy says you’re going to hell if you’re not Christian” still found their place in my daily thought cycle, they became overpowered by the notion of “Truth, Justice and the American Way.” Superman stood by me in my moments of self-doubt, when the cruelty of children revealed itself in the condemning glance, the joke you couldn’t hear or the “accidental” shove down the monkey bars, and, every time I felt myself stumbling into situations I could not win, my thoughts raced back to those comics. As my head struck the ground, perhaps a tree along the way, I remembered that Superman wasn’t the kind of hero who would let a bully overpower or outsmart him, even when people around him only saw the klutzy Clark Kent; no, despite the best efforts of Lex Luthor and the villainous Legion of Super-Villains, Superman proved to me, in my own innocence, that you simply had to be smarter and more resourceful than your opponents, because there was always a way out. Now I didn’t have super powered dog to help me and I couldn’t fly away at super-speeds, but part of me believed that these comics represented the reality of being an adult, so that when the tumultuous years of adolescence became a memory found only in pictures and the idle daydream, the ideals of Superman would shine through for all to see, because the world had to work that way.

I desperately needed it to work that way.

It wouldn’t be fair if it didn’t work that way.

It wouldn’t be fair if there weren’t a Superman or a Batman to protect people from that cruel minority that didn’t want to play in the sand with the kid colored like sand.

In these moments, when I wore the exploits of these fictional friends like a suit of armor, part of me whispered words of doubt and apathy, as various thoughts collided inside myself. No matter how honorably, or how strongly, I fought back, it seemed like the troubles of the world would never stay down until I caught my breath, regrouping to fight back even further. Every day should hold much more promise, I thought, and that notion stayed with me for years.

As with most teenagers, my view of the world became much more cynical as the senior years of high school took their toll on me as I began to reject those childish comic book theories and embrace what I felt what my darker (and to a teenager, inherently “deeper”) emotions. As my weight increased, and my own apathy regarding school and life began to parallel the gains in my waist, I found myself spiraling down a tunnel of my own self-doubt and self-loathing, fertilized by the pent up anger I selfishly attributed as unique to my life, a life that I would have seen as exceptional had I looked outside my anger and absorbed the true breadth of my experiences. I remember one day in 1998, when I had taken a “sick day” and signed myself out of school that day-- ah, the liberty of the Canadian educational system-- when I stumbled upon an old comic from my cousin’s collection under my bed.

I lay down on my bedroom floor, took in the smell of the slightly yellowed newspaper and ink, and remembered the days when these comics comforted me, the days when I needed friends who wouldn’t tease me or leave me for the cooler new kid. Call me weak if you will, but those comics had been there for me, ever the stalwart friends and asking for nothing more than to open their pages with a smile on my face. As I laughed out loud at the obvious logic gaps in these tales, and smiled at the tenacity of heroes in their “dire” straits, how these characters dealt with pain immediately struck me.

I’m not sure if it was the relaxing beat of the rain pounding on my windows that day or the people who had found their way out of my life days earlier, permanently I am sorry to say, but I sat up and began to wonder how I could have ever denied myself the pleasure of the simple truth espoused by these spandex clad champions: there is no feeling in life that doesn’t present us with the opportunity to seize it and become something greater. As I sifted through the excuses weighing me down, I began to realize that there was universality that was equally pronounced in some of these comics, which meant that if someone else was writing about these feelings I felt and someone else was showing a way to overcome these inner villains, then there was a way-- finally-- to triumph over one’s own nemesis, whether the result of internal or external turmoil.

As I’ve grown older, that day has constantly been at the forefront of my thoughts, like a good sidekick to assist me in making sense of the world. My own youthful arrogance prevented me from seeing the truth in these simplistic tales, and that fact has made me wonder how many other self-evident truths in life I’ve shunned in the name of pride. While these comics seemed to solely propagate a “biff bam pow” style of logic, where might made right and coincidence saved the day, I’ve found that the subtleties of these stories have only come to light as I’ve aged. The idea of “Truth, Justice & The American Way” is, I believe, a paradigm, that if embraced, that can help to make the world a better place, for we surely live in a world where helping others and being considerate fosters reciprocal actions. If that is a notion we hold to be true in all situations, then we all have our own superpower after a fashion and like Superman, and owe it to the world to share our abilities with others, so that we all may benefit from those experiences. For if we were to behave with malice and contempt, the opposite would be true- there would be an extreme deficit of happiness and opportunity to be happy. I refuse to believe that a world drowning in sadness, and base emotions is the one sought out by the hearts of mankind, so the mitigating factors must be the reason for derailing our altruistic aspirations. Perhaps it is the details of life, the ones we so selfishly believe to be so unique to our experiences (as I did), which find a way to complicate our good intentions.

To try and rationalize pain in this world is to again ask “why” and it’s a question left for smarter men than I, though comic books have explained one “why” with such resonance that I am dumbfounded by the simplicity of it all. Sometimes we ask why we should fight to create a better world, to stop others from being hurt, when we know that the darkness that clouds our hearts has existed for generations before and will continue to embolden the wicked far after we’ve shed our mortal husks. The answer is there in the blue and red garb of Superman, the shining emblem that draws our attention and the simple mantra he repeats without fail. We need to keep fighting for Truth, Justice and The American Way because we all deserve a moment where the light shines through and we possess the innocent hope that tomorrow might just be better… and the good guys always win.

It's Been A While

2005-12-03T22:15:00.000-08:00

...and the blog WILL return. Thanks for all the e-mails. This blog will come back to life very soon.

For now, go to http://abc.go.com/daytime/allmychildren/quiz/index.html and find out which "All My Children" character you're most like. Or you'd most like to be with.

Support The Christopher Reeve Foundation

2005-08-08T16:56:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of good charities out there, but I have two preferences: the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund- at this site and the Christopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation, found at this site. A new item that can help support the foundation is body wash/shampoo created in dedication to Christopher Reeve, entitled "Believe In Miracles." The reknowned manufacturer Philosophy has it available at their website for purchase- go here. The CRPF also has some cool Superman do tags available at their site. Some may object to the foundation because it is a proponent of stem cell research, but I urge people to donate money in some form.

How Much Of The World Have You Visited?

2005-08-06T05:20:00.000-07:00

I found this over at JonahWeiland.Com and decided to steal it. Because creativity is overrated.

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

Apparently I've only visited 2% of the world and so now I must call Jonah and plan trips to cover the other 98%. Perhaps I could pull a Bruce Wayne and go join the League of shadows. THAT would get me further.

It's A Bird... It's A Plane... It's ARUNE!

2005-07-21T17:08:00.000-07:00

On Monday, I'll be heading to Australia courtesy of Warner Bros, who are taking me (along with other, real journalists) to the set of SUPERMAN RETURNS the new film starring Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey and the guy who played Kumar in "Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle." I'll also stay longer in order to learn a bit more about Syndney- where the it's all being filmed- and to see what kind of trouble I can attract.

Though the full report will be on CBR, I will post notes up here and use a bit more, uh, "diverse" vernacular. Thanks to Jonah Weiland & Rob Worley for making this once in a lifetime trip possible. For those who have noticed a lack of the "Why We Fight" articles, I've been too busy to put up anything but a half-assed article and while they probably read like teenage angsty rants, I don't want them to sound worse than they already do.

RESCUE ME: One Of The Best Shows on TV

2005-07-21T17:07:00.000-07:00

This article is a great recap of FX's Rescue Me television series and provides compelling reasons to watch the show. Denis Leary stars as firefighter Tommy Gavin, haunted by 9/11 (in a way that actually respects the tragedy and opts not to exploit it) and the way he's destroying his life. We also meet a diverse group of characters and the show isn't afraid to explore themes from homosexuality to male rape to penis size all in the first few episodes. There's a serious study of who Gavin is and what makes him tick, showing his responsibility for his life being in the crapper and why he's become this way. The rest of the cast shines too and features one of the most well rounded sets of characters on television. None of the main players- or even supporting characters- is ever treated in way that makes them a boring stereotype or waste of space. From Tommy's ex wife to the Chief's sick wife, all the characters play pivotal roles and most importantly, act like real people. Decisions are made that are always natural for the characters and people fight- and love- for reasons that anyone can relate to. We may not always like seeing these revered firemen as fallible members of society who sometimes make mistakes and sometimes act like selfish pricks.

The last two weeks- as we're half way through season two- have focused on sensitivity training for the crew, as their female member accused them of being sexist and the show has shown how far the pendulum has swung in society now that we're aware of the various "isms." The sensitivity video is hilarious not only in presentation but in how it mimics REAL training videos. For example, in one scene, a white man walks up to a black man...

White man: You watch the game last night?
Black man: No... [stands up] but you assumed I did because I'm African American!
Narrator: We must always use caution in dealing with people of diverse backgrounds.

It's hilarious. Then Tommy points out that everyone but white people have four racist slurs available to describe them, but White people are shorted in the department of slurs and in Denis Leary fashion, lets out EVERY offensive racist name you can imagine. The show isn't revelling in shocking viewers; instead, Rescue Me devalues these words by showing their infantile nature and how they can be used in comraderie. After the video, the instructor asks what Tommy has learned and he replies, "That only white people can be racist." It's a perfect examination of reverse-racism in society and greatly illustrates peoples' over sensitivity in today's climate.

The sex on the show is rough and at times too explicit, but this is a smart, honest show about being a good person and the complications that make heroes only human. This series never takes the easy way out and burns with a real intensity missing in today's fiction, in any medium. Pick up season one on DVD from AMAZON.COM today.

A Good Laugh At Movies

2005-07-21T17:01:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Augie for this link to "40 Things That Only Happen in Movies":

http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/features/20moviethings.htm

Flashback to June 24th, 2005- The Home Of Napoleon Dynamite

2005-07-21T15:29:00.000-07:00

This has taken time to post due to one of my USB ports giving me trouble and the other being used for Internet access, so I apologize if this seems dated.

On June 24th, 2005, my friend Nate Smith and I ventured to Preston, Idaho for the Napoleon Dynamite festival. Now I hated Napoleon Dynamite and though parts of it were funny, I wasn't big on the flick- but Nate loved the film and I figured it might be fun to see the town. There were scheduled tater tot contests, chances to meet some of the supporting cast, dances, etc, but I think we went on the bad day. The next da, Saturday, was apparently packed with people but honestly, I think the culprit is all poor planning.

The town was littered with signs and banners, but there was nothing really special going on- no one seemed to show up for the bowling match, the memorabillia was the kind of stuff you find at Hot Topic stores and considering this is the home of the film, it was disappointing.

Nate and I- driving in his Scion shortbus- found Napoleon Dynamite Ave and we did consider removing the sign. Now I know that isn't the most ethical or responsible thing... but that sign is the kind of thing they should have sold.

Nate decided to hang off the sign and it should be noted that the entire area smelt like manure. It's a farming town and so that's to be expected, but it really smelt bad. It was funny to see the folks react to Nate & I blasting rap music out of his car and driving down the street. It was all country all day over there and the only other people we saw playing hip hop were sun burned 15 year old boys who went to meet their girlfriends behind the bleachers. Seriously. I think that once everyone turns 18, they leave the town because it is SO small. It consists of a few streets, no real restaurants or entertainment areas and there's no room for growth. I can't imagine what it would be like to live in such a small town. You have to drive for an hr to find the nearest real movie theater. Same time to find a real restaurant- the town had a Burger Kind, Taco Maker, a few gas stations and an Artic Circle, where bugs were crawling over the register.

The people were nice and helped direct us to Napoleon's house, as seen in the film, though the guy at the gas station gave us the worst directions possible- which he admitted to. He said he'd charge us for better directions and I don't think he was joking. His co-worker kept staring at me- I think was one of the only minorities that she's ever seen in her life.

Above are Napoleon's house and the mountains over which Uncle Rico said he could throw a football. Good times. Below is Rico's pervert truck.

We ended the trip by FINALLY finding the Rex Kwon-Do studio and this represented another missed opportunity. Mock classes and demonstrations would have been great for the tourists. It would have really added to the atmosphere. I don't know what the evening dance was like, as Nate intended to get with a farm girl in her barn, but considering we only saw females under 15 or over 40, I don't think NateDawg missed too much.

Overall, great trip because I got to do it with a good friend and the ride allowed for a lot of talk time. It also made me appreciate my own life more, after seeing how people have to live in smaller town and the finite options available to them in every facet of their life.

If You Read One Comic Book This Year...

2005-07-07T13:57:00.000-07:00

It MUST be Scott Pilgrim. This comic book series combines the best of humor, action and even *gasp* romance to create a true piece of classic comic book work.

I just interviewed Canadian Writer/Artist/Series Creator Bryan Lee O'Mally here. Check it out.

Some Other Blogs Of Interest

2005-06-06T20:46:00.000-07:00

Sure, you check Arune.Com and this blog everyday, but you want to see other places on the Internet, right? Perhaps some more blogs? Well, without further adieu, here are my recommendations of other blogs worthy of your time:

JonahWeiland.Com: From CBR founder Jonah Weiland comes his own blog, with some fun stories and life observation. Plus, the May 2003 section has a fun report on the trip we took to England and all the cool things we saw.

VariousAndSundry.Com: from another CBR alumni, Augie De Blieck, comes a fun blog about quirky entertainment and tech news, with a large helping of television commentary. The podcasts are fun, but I really find the politics a bit too extreme for my tastes.

Fanboy Rampage: The ultimate scathing commentary on comic books and fanboys... but there's an undeniable heart to to it all and webmaster Graeme McMillan is a cool guy.

Why We Fight (Part 8)

2005-06-06T08:27:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since posting and I'd like to thank all those individuals that have left comments or e-mailed me with praise (or criticism) about this blog. I'm still pitching my first OGN (Original Graphic Novel) and I'm currently learning how to write in Hollywood movie script format so I can work on an idea I've had for a small, independant film. There are a lot of ideas in my head regarding this column and, frankly, I can't remember half of them. So, in lieu of my normal "brilliant" ideas, I've decided to explore the eternal question that is, "What's the point of life?" and well, on a personal level, that's not something I think is hard to understand.

The point of life is to be yourself and have a damn good time doing so. That's all.

Of course, this raises two questions in and of itself: (1) Why were we created or Where did we come from? and (2), What about the morality of life and the idea of being a "good" person?

In regards to the first question, I'd be curious to know the answer but I won't pretend to have the necessary knowledge to know the intricacies of our existence. Speaking of that, couldn't creationism and evolution be tied together by saying that God created the universe to see how things could happen when molecules collided and then we all evolved from that? Or am I missing the point?

As to the latter query, I do believe that while the base natures of mankind seem to petty and selfish, we're born with the inherent strength- and fortitude of will- to overcome these vices. Perhaps those vices are there in order for us to truly appreciate the greatest thing in the world, namely the act of doing good towards others. I believe that being "good" comes down to accepting ourselves- and others- for who they are and living a life not of simple tolerance, but of acceptance, two terms often used as synonyms (such as Nationalism and Patriotism are often misunderstood in America). I'm not sure there is any other fair way to describe how to live a "good" life without creating an unreasonable heirarchy of actions and vocations. One is able to do good in any job or situation- sometimes on a relative scale- because the smallest act of kindess has to be the greatest thing in the world, since, as far as we know, there is no larger meaning to life (or at least one that we can comprehend). "Kindness" can be defined easily without undue judgement but since the term "good" is predicated on a specific sense of morality and as we all know, morality is relative, the state of being "good" is subjective to the perspectives of others- there may be no way to truly define it. To impose such a transient term on an already ever shifting life seems counter-productive when kindness and the Golden Rule are the easiest ways to conduct one's self in a moral way. To make a long story short, if the opportunity to be ourselves and be kind to others exists at any point in life and we act with an open, loving heart, then there is little one can do, in theory, to be objectionable to others. So, if we're acting in a manner that positively impacts those around us, who would disagree that one is "good" or living a "good" life? I can't think of any other way that one can in a way that others- even with our own unique senses of "right"- could find darkness in one's day to day actions, which may be the closest to defining "good" that we'll ever agree upon.

And in my opinion, that all comes down to accepting ourselves and each other for what we are, what we aren't and what we may never be. When you look at the canvas that is the intersection of all our lives, the only things that we can rely on are each other and ourselves. No one can predict what life will bring or how we'll be challenged, but the constant in life is that we are ourselves and we have to deal with other equally powerful and unique personalities. If we accept that conflict is inevitable and that it doesn't have to result in lines being drawn, then I think we'd all be happy. I think that the world- which includes me, I know- seems to accept acting like a petulant child more often than it rewards maturity of character and of action. We're always going to disagree on something and, yes, some matters are of greater importance, but if we treat them with the same level headed attitude that we approach small problems (such as the whole "Could Batman beat Superman?" kind of irrelevant conversation), wouldn't things work better? We all have to make concessions in life and I'm amazed by the pig headedness of many politicians when it comes to addressing issues. I'm not here to preach, but when it comes to abortion or war or stem cell research, why do both sides need to employ "straw man" arguments, going to extremes to prove a point that, as with Superman & Batman, lies somewhere in the middle? Life is a matter of timing- where, when, who, why and what we are and treating it as though there are a plethora of absolutes (beyond basic decency and basic morality)is what causes most of the problem.

We're all unique people and the sooner we accept that and revel in our differences, the sooner that conflict will become philosophical and not the physical, visceral, all consuming and inevitable outcome we not only seem to be expect, but also never challenge.

The answer to all this: pain.

That probably makes no sense on the surface, but what is a greater motivator for change than pain? Beyond our small scale lives, if we look at the greatest changes in the world, there is are few that didn't arrive out of the suffering of others. Now I'm not advocating some Watchmen like idea where someone pro-actively causes pain to instigate change, but we all "hurt" on some level every day of our lives. All of us- and I'm not above this- often struggle to both understand the pain and find a way to cope with it or integrate it into our future actions, reactions and paradigms. So often we're consumed by a reactionary anger, as we feel a sense of indignation, that we somehow didn't "deserve" the pain and forget that the grass is greener where it rains. If conflict is the source of our pain and the only kinds of conflcit that occur (according to my fuzzy memories of High School English) are man vs man, man vs himself and man vs nature, what are we all doing so wrong and what should we be learning from these experiences?

I'm not going to pretend to have all the answers, but I think we need to learn to be honest... with ourselves and the world. So many problems that occur internally- in our souls, hearts, etc- I believe arise from not being honest about our desires, our pain and the reason for both. There's no reason not to embrace one's healthy desires and there's no reason to not let yourself being enveloped by your own pain as long as you don't lose sight of your mission and your aspirations. Every moment of your life can't be as focused as you'd like and there are times you need to cry or smile with total abandon. Do it. Be honest. And when you come into conflict with someone, be honest about the reasons. Maybe it's you, maybe it's them and maybe it's all relative to the time & place. Take a breath. Look at the sky. Smile.

If that clarity is what pain brings us, then it is probably necessary till we all can find a better way to co-exist and find a way to love one another. Or at least we have to wait till I'm elected first president of the universe.

Coming Up:
- Another "Why We Fight"
- A Superman/Batman article

Arune Singh's return in SOAP OPERA DIGEST

2005-05-29T20:36:00.000-07:00

Until the Powers That Be cast me in ABC's "All My Children" or as the latest heartthrob on "The O.C," I'll be content to be featured in SOD on a minor level. For those keeping score at home, this is "Soap Opera Digest Vol.30 #18", the May 3rd issue, and it did come out weeks ago, but if you for some reason want a copy, you can check out their website.

This was a clarification of comments that were misrepresented in a way that I thought some people might find offensive.

The Dark Knight Will Return...

2005-05-24T21:36:00.000-07:00

New posts are coming soon, including a new Why We Fight, an essay on the Superman & Batman archetypes and more stuff that I'd mention but probably never get around to, like so many other things in life.

Why We Fight (Part 7)

2005-04-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

It's been a little while since I've updated the blog because of life being, well, life and I'm going to jump back in with this diatribe. The blog has been visited by a lot of old high school friends and so I figure I should keep this active lest they think the information is outdated or invalid.

This post came out of how I felt after writing my article on anger and why I felt that it was a misrepresented emotion. I began to think about the way I view the world and how it has changed in the past few years. The biggest change has been that I've stopped needing validation from others and stopped needing to connect with people. I don't care about what most people have to say.

That sounds harsh and really assinine, but I think it's important I explain what I mean. In general, we all know that I care about people because they're human beings and I believe they deserve to have someone fight for them. I'm not saying I'm some great guy, but I do want to spend the rest of my life fighting to make this world safer and brighter for every single person on this Earth because they all deserve. You must become the change that you wish to see in the world. Also, in general, people tend to make conclusions based on a lack of information and operate from a comfortable ignorance. I'm not the smartest guy and I know that I have my own ignorance in certain matters, but I'm frustrated when people make conclusions about me based on a lack of information or generalizations (particularly when they bring out the oh-so-great strawman arguments, taking a point of mine to the extreme). In my daily job, I interact with hundreds of people and all view me differently, for better or worse, and I respect their right to form their own opinion. I don't much care if someone likes or dislikes me as long as they take the time to learn about me so that they're opinion is informed. If I forget to say "hi" one day or smile at the right time, that shouldn't be used to condemn me- there are reasons for their actions. But if they're going to judge me based on a situation that may have nothing to do with them (I could be busy doing, oh I don't know, my job?) then I have no choice but to deem their opinion invalid. I'll try to figure out why they're condemning me- or as people are want to do in workplaces, gossip about me- and deal with the situation in a reasonable manner, but if that doesn't succeed, I won't sweat it. If someone is going to make a decision about me without a reasonable amount of facts, then I can't worry about it- they're ignorant and I can shout till my throat hurts, but their head will still be in the sand.

Society is constantly telling us that we will feel better if we're validated by those around us and if we find those deeper connections. We need someone else to tell us we're beautiful. We need someone else to tell us that we're good. We need someone else to make us happy. Everything positive in the mainstream is based around the idea that we need someone else to bring about the joy within us and ignite those fires. Now I do believe in having close friends & family, expressing love and affection to those we truly care about, but people drift apart and people change. I don't believe that someone else needs to tell us what we should be able to see in our own reflection. Humans may have a need for companionship, but we don't need someone to run our lives- we just need someone there to support us and bring that light into our lives. I think we've all been brainwashed to think that we always need to lean on someone for all our decisions and make sure people in our lives agree with us.

I don't agree with that. I don't believe that, for example, I'm beholden to the perspective of my co-workers beyond the fact that I need to show basic respect. This isn't a comment on the merits of any one person's views, but a personal rejection of the notion that I should be constantly concerned- "worried"- about how someone else will see me if I'm working with good intent and not harming others.

We're all people with the ability to make decisions and to act on our own. We have out own beliefs, our own sense of morality and our own ability to make our dreams real. Now keep in mind I'm not talking about actions that purposely hurt others or negate the concerns of those around us, but do you really need someone's permission to do what you think is right? No. How often do you see fights in a club and no one intervenes to try and help? We're all so scared of action because we've been trained to need a little Jimmeny Cricket telling us what to do. We've all been trained to need the approval of others, so when that crowd is cheering for a fight and we know that it's wrong, we're scared to act. We're scared to do what is right.

I was thinking about the NAVY and all the reasons it meant- and still does mean- so much to me. In previous "Why We Fight" posts I've covered why it was so important to me, but there's one point I want to bring up in a quotation from the television show "Angel": "Heroes don't accept the world the way it is. They fight it." This choice to join the military was not popular with those I love. It wasn't something they embraced the way they embraced my other ambitions, such as the book I'm trying to sell right now or my quest to be a cop. This time... that didn't bother me. I knew what I had to do and I embraced it with all my being. I blazed my own trail and didn't look back. This was the first time in my life I truly accepted the man inside of me and bared it to the world with no fear, no second thoughts and no indecision. I was reborn.

When I was younger, I spent so much time wanting my friends to approve of everything in my life, from the girls I liked to the television I watched. I never wanted to do anything that conflicted with their world view because I was scared to embrace my perspective because then there'd be an ideological conflict. Then I'd have to defend my views and perhaps lose friends out of it or resolve conflict. I wanted so badly to connect with those around me that I twisted myself in every direction to try and fit. It never worked and I never understood why till now- I wasn't real. Without being me and true to the soul inside, I was never going to connect with another person because they had nothing to connect with except a facade that was so fluid that it could change at a moment's notice. I needed the validation of others because I was so afraid that I was too different from other people. I was afraid that they wouldn't understand. After all these years, I've realized that we all feel this way at some point and it's human nature to a certain degree, but society has cultivated an environment in which this facade is not only acceptable, it is also encouraged. I'm not passing blame onto anyone else- I'm a part of the world and if I am a slave to convention out of ease rather than belief, then I am part of the problem.

It's important to have people in our lives who give us the passion to fight harder and smarter. It's important to respect those around us and treat them as we'd like to be treated. However, at some point in our lives, we have to decide who we are and bare that part of us to the world so that they can see the heart inside of us, the real person that wants out. If we aren't honest about that and worry more about the thoughts of others, no one will ever be truly happy, because that's all any of us can be- no one- if we're not honest about the passion inside of us. The ability for us to be so different is our greatest strength because diversity breeds discussion and it breeds unique experiences- both expand our horizons and allow us to proceed with a more intelligent world view.

Coming Soon:
- an article on "All My Children"
- an article on "Angel"
- a "shout out" to some high school friends who've brought back some good memories

Why We Fight (Part 6)

2005-04-07T20:55:00.000-07:00

After some self-indulgent promotion, we come back to... more stuff about me! It's a big surprise, I know, and I'll actually get around to writing about other subjects soon. I was actually not sure what to write about at first till I spoke with my friend Mike Carey (who you all may know from DC Comics/Vertigo's Lucifer comic book) and he said this:

"Reading between the lines of your WHY WE FIGHT pieces, I'm detecting a mood that's, kind of, a little more tranquil and accepting than I've known you to be in recent months. I don't know if that's the right way of putting it, but you seem to have thought through a lot of big issues and come to an acceptance of what you are and what you want to be - which is great."

And he's right of course- those Brits always are right, at least when it comes to comic books or comic book fans. That inspired me to write about anger and the burning anger I have inside of me. Now I'm not saying I'm an actively angry person, but I am full of a lot of dissatisfaction with the world and myself, though I do realize I can only change what I can affect. I only concern myself with those aspects of the world or myself that are malleable, that I can shape into the change I wish to see.

In particular, I'm still very angry about the NAVY and not getting into the armed services. I truly do believe that I'd best serve the world by being there to help my countrymen and, politics aside, fight the forces of evil that are there (or anywhere else in the world). There isn't a moment that goes by where I don't wish I was there and where I don't long to find some loophole to get myself in the NAVY. Being denied that service to my country- and the world- has destroyed a part of me that I'll never get back and given me an anger that will never stop burning.

It might just be the best thing that ever happened to me.

As Mike said, I am more accepting about things and my perspective is much healthier... because I lost the one thing (besides those I love) that mattered to me more than life itself. Now everything seems so small and inconsequential, as most things usually are, and I'm a lot cooler with everything. My general response to life is, "It's all good," as I really have nothing to complain about now because none of it really matters to me. I still long for opportunities to do good and make a difference, but I can put it all in perspective. The burning anger inside of me inspires me to move forward; it compels me to fight the boundaries placed upon me; it makes me aspire to greatness.

So often we're told that anger is a negative emotion, one that by its nature should be surpressed, minimized or eliminated. Anger is one of those taboo emotions, one that should never be shown because it implies the angry party lacks self control or gives in easily to base emotions. Anger is equated with violence- physical violence in particular- and as such letting it out could be harmful to those around. Unfortunately, this is a pervasive unfair generalization of a natural human emotion and ignores the source of the emotion and its applications. Anger, like love, can blind us, but that's because it intrinsically propels us towards some direction- it moves us. That's a good thing, isn't it? Being consumed by any one emotion is unhealthy, but I believe anger isn't a bad emotion to be driven by because it implies one seeing a deficiency in the world around them and wanting to make it "right." I'm relating this all to my situation so excuse any obvious logic holes (heck, post comments about them if you'd like) and let me explain. And yes, there are major downsides to anger, but I'll leave those aside for now.

Anger, when stemming from petty situations, such as your favorite sports team losing a game, is sorta silly, I admit that. I don't think it's wrong to feel anger, because you're likely emotionally invested in the outcome of the game (perhaps even financially), but when I see those people who riot in towns or break things in their own homes, I have to shake my head in disbelief. It's a game- nothing more. Get over it. But when someone loses someone they love and they find comfort in the anger, I'm sure it often propels them in directions where they seek to prevent the same convergence of events in the lives of others. That's a clear cut situation where anger acts a positive primary motivator to a path that positively impacts those around them. Let's try another example- let's say that you feel you're being outclassed by your co-workers and you're angry that you seem to be left behind in the results categories. That anger can propel you to work harder to be that much better, achieve your potential or whatever way you'd like to word it, creating an outcome where you are actually better serving whatever team you're a part of at the time. That's something positive too.

Even in fiction we see that anger is an emotion that can benefit us immensely. Look at the story of Batman- young Bruce Wayne is so angered by the murder of his parents that he pushes himself forward to be the best there is so no one suffers as he did. He doesn't exact undue revenge on the evil scum of society nor does he do harm to the innocents. His anger is focused and directed because he understands it for what it is- a facet of his desire and place in the world. In the "classic" Superman stories, a young Clark Kent bemoans the fact that he has "all these powers" and can't save Pa Kent from dying. This helplessness becomes anger which the Man Of Steel molds into a singular vision to help those around them by bringing light into their lives. Anger need not be a burning destructive force as it is born- one merely need learn to tame the flame and use it for one's own purposes. Or in the television show "Angel", the titular character is someone trying to gain redemption for his sins and in his darkest moments, his anger at himself and the injustice in the world allows him to overcome situations that test him. There's a moment in the first season of the show where a character is asked about love and it's explained that love is simply the calm that comes with finding one's place in the world, whether it be with another person or with an ambition. On that same note, I'd contend that anger isn't about hatred and lashing out reactively- it's about not letting one's self deny their place in the world and their power to change the shape of things.

Now in relating this to me and my perspective, I look at the NAVY and the resulting, uh, results as being one of the defining moments in my life. I finally found something that encapsulated all my goals and for once I truly reveled in each moment as though it was my last. "Life, Liberty And The Pursuit Of Those Who Threaten It" were the words on my mind when I woke and when I went back to bed. My every action was motivated by the credo of "Honor, Courage & Commitment." My anger after I couldn't join at first threatened to consume me but I've found I've been able to move it way from the surface and instead use it to fuel what I do. I lift weights with more gusto. I run harder. I'm more meticulous about the white collar crime I investigate for a living. I'm a better person because I know what loss is and I'm able to use the anger to become something greater before. You can argue that I'm motivated by other feelings or beliefs and you'd be right, but the reason I've taken my pursuit of "The Never Ending Battle" to another level is because of anger. I realize how badly I want the things I truly want- IE: my mission- and it's given me the perspective that Mike says he sees in me now.

I'm not going to pretend I have the answers to everything or that I am some insightful person, but I'm using this blog to put my thoughts out there and perhaps through that process, learn more about myself and grow. So please don't take any of that as some random guy propogating "the way" to be or "the way" things are in reality.

I know enough to know I don't know enough.

Coming Soon:
- an "Angel" retrospective, which is taking a lot of time to write
- an explanation of why I've grown to love "All My Children", "The O.C" and other soap operas.

Arune Singh featured in "Soap Opera Digest"

2005-04-05T15:06:00.000-07:00

... sorta. The title is a tad exagerrated, but it got your attention, right? Like all those weight loss magazines that promise results but can never deliver! And that comparison sounded better in my head.

Above are scans of Soap Opera Digest Vol.30 No.14, the April 5th issue (only available on newsstands till April 11th, after which you can buy it from the magazine's website), featuring the cover and the article in which I'm featured. I was interviewed regarding The O.C, because there was a recent story featuring Wildstorm Studios and Seth Cohen (one of the leads) trying to get a comic book published. SOD contacted my editor, Jonah Weiland (whose great blog is here)and he referred them to me, so they could learn more about the comic book process (and Jonah isn't an OC fan). The interview went well and though my ramblings have been re-worded heavily, there is one quote I needed to address:

SOD: Seth & Summer grew close again while working together. Can working on a comic inspire romance?
Singh: Well, there aren't many women in the industry, so maybe for homosexual men. But when you're spending that much time with someone on such a detailed project, you can grow closer.

Now I know most people won't be offended by that and I know no one at SOD was, but the comment was taken out of context. I said something more along the lines of, "well, with so few women in the industry, it'd have to be the guys hooking up" and it was meant facetiously, something not translated into the interview. I know that no one at SOD is purposely misrepresenting me and none of the above comments are blatantly homophobic, but I want to make sure no one thinks I am taking a shot at gays.

There is a clarification being printed in an upcoming issue, so I'm sure it'll all be fine. But with this being a promotion of comics and being a representative of CBR, I want to make sure I put my best foot forward and don't embarass anyone.

Big Sexy Goes Big Time!

2005-04-05T14:54:00.000-07:00

More updates are coming, but for now, we'll focus on some slightly more self-involved topics, namely me as fictional comic book characters in recent comic books. I've been in a number of Superman comics and I'll post scans of those soon.

Lucifer #58 (DC Comics/Vertigo, 2005): the writer of this series, Mike Carey, is a great friend of mine and apparently this is only the first of a few appearances in his comics. The series is about that Lucifer, yes, but there's a strong philosopical subtext to everything in the series and it's one comic book I reccomend to those with open minds. Anyway, this issue is a stand alone issue focusing on Lucifer, a few of his allies (I'd be hesitant to say friends, as no one knows why Lucifer does what he does) and the wolf-god Arooon. Which sounds a lot like Arune, if you didn't realize the connection. It's a much larger part than I thought I'd get and it's a ton of fun. I'm not sure how much sense it'd make if you've never read the series before, but I enjoyed it thoroughly, beyond my own ego stroking.

Sleeper Season Two #8 (DC Comics/Wildstorm, 2005): while I'm not especially close with series writer Ed Brubaker, I know him to be a stand up guy and a very intelligent man. I've done a lot of promotion for his series "Sleeper" over at CBR over the years and he had said he'd put me in an issue of the series. I figured it'd be as throwaway goon or one of the "one time" villains he showcases in the series, but instead I got something better: I was a taxi cab driver! Yes, I make many jokes about my skin color making me a perfect taxi cab driver and finally, I got to live out my dream! Not only that, my character entered into a multi page sexual experience with one of the female protagonists in the book... who then promptly broke his neck after the best sex of his life. Aren't comics amazing? You can visit Ed at his web site.

Arune Singh, CBR Staff Writer

2005-03-28T21:38:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, I write for ComicBookResources.com and I finally have some new articles online:

The new REX MUNDI creative team speaks out in their first interview and I highly recommend checking out this Image Comics series.

Mike Carey, my favorite writer, talks about SPELLBINDERS, his new Marvel Comics series and I'll be sure to pick up the trade paperback. The man can do no wrong.

J. Torres, a really cool and talented Canadian comic book writer talks about his current crop of projects, all of which you should buy.

Why We Fight (Part 5)

2005-03-27T01:58:00.000-08:00

Due to popular demand, I'm back with another installment of "Why We Fight." I do plan to deal with less weighty posts soon- such as AMC and Angel articles- but for now I'll go with what you all seem to want. As I mentioned last time, my job is my priority- save my best friend Jamie- and some don't quite understand my train of thought.

Back in 2001, when I was sitting in the fire hall and learning about it all to prepare for the test, I remember Chief Joel McColl telling us about the sacrifice that we'd have to make as firefighters- provided we passed the test of course- and it was a story that I've heard related to me in varying terms from many people in the public service sector. Joel talked about how he'd often be heading home for a special evening with his wife, have the flowers laying on the passenger seat and be ready to romance the love of his life... only to get "the" call. Now Joel would never know if "the" call was something big or small, but to him it was the call because it came from his brothers & sisters in the FD. So he'd turn around and head to the station without a single doubt crossing his mind because he knew his job was to save lives. He recognized that his calling, his duty to others was not something dependant on his schedule- Joel knew that he was in service to others and had to be there whenever he was needed.

As this story was explained to all of us in the room, Joel basically explained that if you're the kind of guy who'd go home to his wife or have any doubt in his mind, it didn't make you a bad guy, but it might just mean you weren't willing to make the sacrifices necessary to be a firefighter. I can't remember if he said it in so many words, but that was the message communicated. The impression I received was that you had to put your sworn duty above all else. Period. It wasn't a judgement on those unwilling to make the sacrifice- just honesty about what the job required.

That's who I am. That is what I believe in. That is how I operate.

I'm not going to ever say that I think that I'm some great guy or some hero. I'm just a regular guy who's trying to do the right thing, except that doing good for others is my priority with my life. From the moment I wake up, my brain is thinking of ways that I can give back to a world that has given so much to me- it's what I think about when I don't go and party with all my friends, though perhaps I should be doing so. I care about everyone on this planet- people are my priority, though I have little time for individuals, if that makes sense. I can't afford too many deep ties to distract me from my mission.

And fighting that mission makes me happy beyond words. Closing down a white collar crime ring or exposing fraud from those within the company is an amazing feeling. I've felt how good it feels to fight the never-ending-battle on a small scale and I crave the chance to do it on a larger scale. It is the sum of my ambitions, so much so that everyone (almost) becomes a secondary concern, at least when it comes to personal relations.

And who wants to play second fiddle?

That, above all else, is why I've never had a long term relationship and why I'm never likely to be married, in addition to my other failings and general disinterest in marriage combined with an intense desire to never have childen. I can blame my lack of relationship success on a lot of factors, but that fact is I've never wanted it bad enough to sacrifice the steps I'm taking towards being better at giving back. I don't want there to ever be a day where I need to be just a little faster, just a little quicker, just a little tougher, just a little smarter or just a little anything more in order to protect someone. Anyone. I want to know that I'm pushing my limits everyday to be everything I can for this world.

Does that mean I'll never be in love? No. But it does mean I understand that my own ambition will always drive a wedge between myself and someone else when I attempt to be closer than just friends. I don't expect anyone to ever want to be second best and I don't blame them for not wanting to be with me if it's because I can't put them first. We all want to be loved completely and entirely by the person we commit to and promise to cherish. That's not unreasonable at all.

Perhaps this all sounds utterly pretentious or you're in the public service sector & find yourself happily married. I'm not saying it can't work. I'm not saying that those who've made it work fight the fight any less hard than I do and will continue to do. I'm saying that I know that for myself personally, I'm in love with the war against injustice and that love comes first for me. I know that I'd break the heart of any girl who wanted to be with me because every time that they thought things were "improving," I'd go and blow off an important date to rescue a kitten or arrest someone speeding.

That's who I am.

This has been on my mind of late not only because of people in my everyday life asking me about my dating status, but also because in looking at careers I've had to weigh all the benefits- and downsides- of not only the avenues I pursue, but the ways in which I grab ahold of my dreams. I know that I may never fall in love with my current mindset. I know that I may never find someone who can put up with the, uh, "intensity" of my amibiton and any vices I have in spades.

But I do know that I accept this and will continue to fight for what's right till the day I die. And then in the next life, keep doing it again and hope that one of these lives, I'll be with whomever I'm meant to be with and that I'll be a good enough soul to be worthy of her affection.

Why We Fight (Part 4)

2005-03-22T18:16:00.000-08:00

This "aspect" of my blog seems to have resonated the most with those reading, so I'll try to make this the section updated most often, though expect to see a few articles on ABC Daytime's All My Children as I feel the show is hitting a high point right now and is a real fun ride. As I've begun to read fewer and fewer comic books, you'll see less articles from me on the subject as anything I want to write about comics will be mostly positive, unless there's an issue with a negative angle that I want to explore.

Back to the topic at hand, I'm once again pondering what it means to blindly embrace an unrealistic dream versus the idea of not following a dream far enough. Simply put, I want to do "the right thing" and that's something, as I've said before, I believe can be done through a number of means and methods, by everyone, at any given moment. You never know when not holding that door open for someone will be the final straw or when smiling at someone will make their day. I think one of the things we all must do before following a dream is examining the pragmatism of that dream, especially in relation to one's own abilities and one's own ability to grow in certain directions. For example, if you're missing an arm, don't expect to make it big in the NBA. I'm sure there's some way someone could do it, but we're talking an astronomical long shot here. I'm all about enthusiasm for something in life- god knows I get frustrated when people over the 18 can't even name a "dream" job, even if it's just something as simple as food tester. I honestly don't believe that a high school graduate has no idea of something that they just might want to do in life. To me, it's simple: if you want something in life or have a hobby that makes you happy, there's some job you can imagine that you'd like to do. And that's what you should do.

Getting back to me- which is what you're here for, right?- this is all in my mind after the military didn't work out. Now that was my dream of dreams, my ultimate fantasy job and I aced the tests. I'm friggin Captain America compared to 99% of recruits. For example, they average 40/99 on the ASVAB. I scored 98/99. Same deal with the physical test. Now we all know that there was bureaucratic bullshit keeping me from getting in, but I had an entirely realistic mindset about what I wanted to do and I never expected to get rich out of being a NAVY boy. I just wanted to fight for what I believe in and I'm not getting into the whole political debate surrounding American presence in Iraq. I have my own philosophy- my countrymen need help in their fight. I want to help them. If that advances Bush's agenda, that's fine, and if that's noble, that's fine too. I don't care about the external politics, the perceptions of those outside of me when it comes to these kinds of decisions. I need to be happy with who I am and need to do what I feel is right. So the military was my dream and it's now lost to me forever. The one dream I held onto when I was sad and lonely, the one secret I dared not speak lest others not understand it and the one backup plan I had in case nothing else worked. This was what I wanted to do. For the rest of my life. Come what may, for better or worse, I will always still wish I had gone to boot camp this summer. I'll always wish I'd been able to get my dog tags and risk my life in Iraq. Always.

The upside to this? There's very little that could happen to make me as angry as when I didn't get that opportunity. I'm pretty calm and laid back regarding everything these days because I lost what mattered to me. It's not that I don't care- I just put it all in a different perspective. It's also helping me to embrace who I am and not be the smiley, chatty guy I often pretend to be- that's not me. It's a necessary facade at times, but I prefer to simply say what needs to be said and focus on the task at hand. This doesn't mean I'll be a jerk to those around me or overtly cold, but I've no grand need to connect with every single person I meet. I'll smile, be kind, be helpful but stay focused on what I'm doing (this is a philosopy I'll explore later in the next installment). I'm a lot more relaxed about things and maybe we'll all find out that in the long run, that peace of mind in terms of dealing with life is something far more important than being able to tie the proper knots or holding onto the soap in a public shower (though I am good at the latter, before you hit the comments with wholly inappropriate gay jokes).

But the military deal is all done now so I have to move on with my next dream- being a cop. It isn't my number one job pick and there are a lot of things about the job- namely the politics of it all- that make me uncomfortable, but I do believe I could throw myself into it. But by the time I can apply- 2 years from now, for a few reasons- I'll be in my late 20's and that'll already put me at a disadvantage compared to candidates under the age of 25. Additionally, the money isn't great- as my friend Arthur reminded me, "People do police work out of love, not a desire to be rich" and he's right. But I do love the jobs they do, from traffic work to forensics to investigations. I absolutely love investigations and putting together the pieces, something, that at the risk of sounding arrogant, I'm very good at doing. I'd love to be a detective at some point and work in homicide, or even be in SWAT. Both are realistic goals, even with no college degree to speak of... yet.

So what's the problem with giving up my current job, you ask?

Sphere of influence. The job I'm at allows me to put bad guys in jail, but in very limited situations and I'm bound by a lot of red tape. The chances for me to do good on a broader scale are limited, though in a non-perp busting way I can do more since I interact with so many people. Then you have a cop who, well, is a freakin cop! The possibilities are endless in terms of ability to fight crime and stop the pieces of shit that plague our society like a cancer. I'd get to deal with the vile scum of this country and put them away in jail. I'd get to show them justice. I can do so much as a cop.

But then we have...

Job security. I can advance in the job I do now and earn $60,000 a year in the next year or two easily and have much better job security than being a cop, where I'll be struggling to earn $40,000 and have to work odd jobs. I can do a lot of good in both jobs. I can make a difference in both jobs. But being a cop carries a lot of risk and choosing that path destroys a lot of opportunities I have at my current employer. Money affords a lot of opportunities, such as financially aiding those you love and those in need, while also relieving the stress of having to worry about any financial problems (in most cases). It also opens doors to certain areas of influence where permanent change can be made. If I fail as an officer of the law, it'll leave me over 30 and starting over again, to a certain degree. I'm in a job field in which you need to be at the right place at the right time and I've positioned myself very well- being a cop means I have to do that maneuvering all over again.

There's a good chance that the factors that affected my military dreams could impact me when I apply to be a cop. I have to be realistic about that and realize that I'd be risking a lot to do this job.

Being a cop would put me on the front line- in both good & bad ways- and it would be a total adrenalaine rush. There's no way that I think I'd get sick of the job, unless of course I was in a totally corrupt division, and I'm not worried about the mortality aspect of the job. I'm happy to "move on" if it helps to protect someone else's life. I've got no real regrets, though I still know I could have lived my life much better than I have for the greater part of my life. I look at the job of being a police officer and I know that it's the right job for me (besides the military). I know that it'd allow me to achieve everything I want from life, from being a part of something bigger to satisfying my machismo to doing good. But what if it turns out that I get lost in the shades of gray and become twisted into someone else? What if in brightest day and blackest night, evil not only escapes my sight but becomes what I think is right? I'm a stubborn guy with set beliefs- how long before I end up on the wrong track and don't realize it till I collide with something bigger?

And perhaps that makes it a scary prospect to pursue because I want it so bad that I'm scared of it not working out. Perhaps.

And if that's my problem, then I oughta slap myself in the face and keep moving forward, because the test of a real man is if you're able to get up every time you're knocked down, not if you're able to smile when you reach the top of the mountain.

I'm also looking at other jobs I'd be cool with, from Investigator for the D.A to being a Private Investigator, so I can keep my options open. Money will always be an issue and I have to realize that perhaps to stay afloat financially, I might need to be at a less than optimum job.

But here's the question: am I being true to myself if I do that? If I know there's a "#1 job" out there for me and I don't embrace it, is that being true to myself because I'm doing "all I can realistically" or is it running away from who I am because I'm afraid of failure? I want to be a cop. Right now, the only other job I can think of doing for the rest of my life is being a firefighter, though the whole "sphere of influence" thing comes to mind again. I do like the idea of doing a job where you simply save people without judgment... but something calls out to me to kick some criminal ass. Maybe I'll find that I can't survive on police pay- for whatever reason- and I'll have to go the corporate route, which while reasonable, isn't who I am. It isn't what I'm about- not a judgement on the merits of big business, just where I fit in. Shouldn't I be willing to sacrifice some of the comforts of life to be what I want to be and make a difference? I can only move the line of acceptable job compromises so far before I look back and I can't see where I drew the first line. I don't have an answer as to when that happens but I don't want to look back at all- I want to be able to keep looking forward because I've embraced a life that takes me beyond my mortal coils and turns me into a force to embrace my ideals 24/7.

That's all the whining (healthy whining I'd say) I'll do about job prospects for the next little while. I think I've really covered all the bases when it comes to my internal debate and one thing is clear to me- I'm lucky to actually have real options in my life and a choice of liveable opportunities. A lot of people aren't afforded that luxury and I am grateful for what I have.

Some of you may wonder why jobs seem so important to me and I never talk about relationships, love, family or any of that. I'll write a "Why We Fight" about that soon- likely my next installment- but the fact is, I've never wanted to married, never wanted children and never felt a need to be close to people like that. I have people in my life I love- friends & family- and they give me all I need to fight my battles. It'd be nice to have a "someone" to lean on, but if that's why I want someone, it's not quite love as much as needing a crutch. My dreams are my priority- they always have been in retrospect, even when I did actively date- and I don't expect anyone to put up with being a second class citizen to someone who is supposed to love them. I don't want to be alone, but if I must walk my path by myself, that's ok- I have to fulfill that which I desire and I'd rather be honest about my priorities than string someone along when I'll leave them to chase my dreams at a moment's notice. I'm not saying I'm a hero or some great guy. I'm just a regular person trying to give back to a world that has given me a lot to love.

So maybe I am a bastard after all. ;)

Stay tuned for my "All My Children" articles and retrsopective on the 5th season of "Angel," which I feel epitomized why the show is so unlike anything on television.

You Learn Something New...

2005-03-16T20:42:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, on my right shoulder, I have a tattoo of the Gryphon that David Boreanaz had fake-inked on his back during his time on Buffy The Vampire Slayer- I always like the look of the tattoo and thought it was a unique looking visual. I figured it had something to do with redemption or penance, as the character of "Angel" epitomized the struggle for redemption, so it seemed like something apt to have permanently etched in my body. It wasn't until recently that I learned that this particular tattoo has a deeper meaning and this web page has all the information. I don't want to steal what they've written, but there are a few excerpts that I found interesting:

"Gryphons are fierce but solitary, at least with other species. They prefer isolated areas, and live alone, but for other Gryphons. Their trust is hard to earn, but once one has it, they are extremely loyal. Gryphons are not fearless, but they are very courageous. Perhaps most important of all, they are not foolish. They are very wise beings. Gryphons mate for life. Once they have chosen a mate, they are forever faithful, and if the first mate dies, they will not take another."

I'm not sure that anyone in their right mind would call me wise and I'm loathe to call myself courageous, but otherwise it seems like an apt description of myself.

"The symbolism of the winged lion of St Mark is more complex. It represents one fourth of the nature of Christ. The man being the human nature of Christ, the lion, the royal dignity; the ox, the sacrifice, atonement and priesthood; and the eagle, the ascension and divine nature. The lion is traditionally supposed to be roaring in the desert and preparing the way."

Now as many of you know, my first name means "sun" and my last name means "lion." So not only is this Gryphon as winged lion, it is tied closely to the sun. And in terms of this extract from the article, I'm a loudmouth, so "roaring" isn't too far off, right?

Nerd Bling- The Comic Books You (yeah, you) Have To Read

2005-03-16T19:00:00.000-08:00

As promised a little while ago, this is a list of the comic books I reccomend for everyone reading this blog, geek or not. There's an amazing diversity within the comic book medium and you're not just limited to super-heroes. I'll be breaking down the reccomendations into two categories: (1) Monthly Comics- ongoing comic series that you can enjoy every month (2) Collected Editions- collections of comics you can find at your local book store or Amazon.Com. Each format offers its own benefits, such as watching a film and television show are unique experiences, and I'll briefly touch upon those as well.

If you have any suggestions as to other comics I should have listed here, please leave your feedback in the comments section and I'll consider a second "must-read" list- I'm sure I'll forget a lot, but I'm just trying to talk about what's on my mind right now (and heck, while writing all this, I've thought of a few more comics). And if you have any suggestions as to other Nerd Bling topics, please pass them on in them comments section of this article. I've not included books such as Watchmen and Sandman for specific reasons- I love them, but I don't know that the audience reading this blog will likely want to read them.

Monthly Comics

The monthly comic is much like the weekly television show- there's something wonderful about the cliffhanger that keeps you coming back and the inherent soap opera of monthly comics (ie: the way we get attached to the characters' lives) is undeniably addictive. These are my favorite current series that I purchase monthly:

Astonishing X-Men (Marvel Comics, $2.99 per issue)- If you enjoyed the X-Men movies and want to read more about these rich characters, this series is what you have to be reading. Created expressley for writer Joss Whedon (of "Buffy" fame) and artist John Cassaday, this series is full of everything that makes superheroes fun. Whedon pays tribute to the rich history of the X-Men, but in the (8) issues of the series thus far, he's made things accessible and relevant only to what happens in the book. All the blanks are filled by what happens in the pages of this comic and you need not look any further. Additionally, the series is full of rich characterization that highlights the uniqueness of all the characters and while grounding, also makes each of them seem "uncanny" in their own right. There's already one collection of the book available and another due by summer most likely. Check it out.

DC Comics' All Star Line (DC Comics, monthly starting Summer 2005)- while neither "All Star Batman & Robin" nor "All Star Superman" have hit stands yet, I really think these are going to be the best super-hero books of the year. Author Frank Miller returns to Batman, with artist Jim Lee (arguably the most popular comic book artist for the last 20 years) to bring an "iconic" six-issue story of Batman and Robin to the masses. This isn't a story with any real "back story"- it's meant for the common person who has a passing knowledge of Batman and for those who like their heroes fighting the good fight and using cool toys. Similarly, "All Star Superman" promises to be a fun ride, but with writer Grant Morrison writing the series, his "mad ideas" are sure to infuse the series with a shiny optimism not seen in most fiction, comic books or otherwise. Artist Frank Quitely will provide the visuals and the two have worked magic before, so their Superman stories should be a comfortable throw back to tales of heroes fighting for what's right because it is right and beating the snot out of mad scientists.

Collected Editions

Collected editions of comics or thick volumes published in the square bound format (called "graphic novels") are like reading a good book or watching a movie. You'll generally find a nice complete story in each sitting and the format makes it easy to loan or re-read on a rainy day. Here are my "must read" GN picks, though I'll be honest, these are basically skewed towards the "new" reader:

The Andi Watson Library (Oni Press and Slave Labor Graphics, various price points)- go to Amazon.Com and search the name "Andi Watson." Now buy every comic he's ever written. From the fish out of water story of "Slow News Day" to the true to life relationship woes in "Slow News Day" and "Dumped," Andi Watson is a master of taking complex emotions and making them so simple, so straightforward that you wonder why we haven't all learned to love ourselves and others. His stories are squarely set in the real world and explore the notion of love- from the love of others to the love of one's self and the love of one's ambitions. His art may seem a bit too simple at first, but his art style has a unique flavor that allows him to convey more emotion than other "detailed" artists.

The Adrian Tomine Library (, various price points)- Remember what I told you to do with Andi Watson? Do the same with Tomine. He produces work at a slower pace, but his two big collections- "Sleepwalk" and "Summer Blonde"- are masterful deconstructions of the human condition through short stories and most of them will stick with you far after you've read the book. Anything I can say would seem like hyperbole, but trust me that Tomine is one of the master of the comic book medium and needs to be seen to believed.

Batman: Year One & Superman For All Seasons (DC Comics, various price points & formats)- while these books couldn't have more dispirate tones, there's no doubt that both these books successfully convey the core of each character. "Year One" is about a man who's parents are violently murdered in front of him and how he comes to grips with their deaths, as well as paralleling it to the story of a man who is about to lose his own family if he doesn't come to grips with himself. The former is Bruce Wayne, who dons his Batman mask for the first time and the latter is Gotham City Police Officer Jim Gordon, who is new to the corrupt city. The book isn't about about the fantastic nature of the titular hero, though it is shown; instead, "Year One" explores what it takes to exist in a corrupt world and how to deal with losing all that you love. Frank Miller truly "gets" Batman in this tale and artist David Mazucchelli brings a sense of atmosphere to the book that is perfectly real. On the other hand, we have "Seasons," which shows the change that is possible by one man embracing all that is within him and giving back to the world because he knows it is the right thing to do. This is a big, bright story about Superman triumphing over evil and the importance of perseverance in the face of adversity. It isn't sappy and isn't cliched, though by all means it should be- writer Jeph Loeb and artist Tim Sale paint a Rockwellian portrait of a world where one man can make a difference.

Blankets (Top Shelf Publishing, various prices and formats)- Craig Thompson's autobiographical story about his first love is at times sappy, predictable and frustrating, but it's also a brutally honest love story and we know love can be all those things. It's a huge book and illustrated beautifully, with splash page images used to maximum effect and to convey the true excitement of falling for someone. The small, intimate picture on the cover truly describes this OGN in volumes- the story isn't your typical Hollywood over the top love story. Rather, this is an intimate story about a moment in time when two people connect so utterly perfectly that there's no doubt that "it" will all work out- until the moment passes and reality challenges them both to see if this relationship really is true happiness.

Starman (DC Comics, price varies per volume)- As the name indicates, this is a super hero comic book, but what it doesn't say is that this series is really about fathers, sons and their complex relationships. This isn't a series about super powers, heroic angst or any of the played out comic book sterotypes- this is a series about a man trying to do right by his family and the consequences of simply being human. The series revels in the beauty within us all while tempering that optimism with the reality of life and that of being a "hero." A truly inspiring 10-volume series that only gets better every time it is read.

New Posts Are Coming

2005-03-13T13:41:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the delays folks. Expect multiple updates this week as I've been busy working on a few ideas for movie scripts.

Yet Another Reason To Watch "The O.C"

2005-03-02T18:19:00.000-08:00

For those of you who have even a marginal interest in comic books, Fox's "The O.C" proves that comic book geeks can be cool. And get the girl.

I'll probably write something about the show here soon- it's a fun filled romp through adolesence and doesn't truly get the respect it deserves. While it is in many respects "another teen show," it has also explored a lot of issues- such as class and social structure- with a mature approach and is one of the few t.v shows that seems designed to make you smile.

The first season is available on DVD and you can find it on Amazon.Com, along with some reviews to help you decide to buy it, because any other decision would be folly.

From the Amazon.Com review:

"...what The O.C. turned out to be was the most addictive TV soap in recent memory, and one with a brain to boot. Smarter than Melrose Place, sexier than 90210, funnier than Felicity, and not as enamored of itself as Dawson's Creek, The O.C. reveled in clever and hilarious dialogue (the pilot episode earned a WGA nomination) and quirky, eccentric characters. Most noteworthy was breakout star Adam Brody, who as Ryan's geeky newfangled brother-type Seth practically stole the teen heartthrob mantle away from Russell Crowe-lookalike McKenzie."

Is This My Future?

2005-03-02T02:24:00.000-08:00

Is this the future of everyone's favorite Arune?

Now this is truly scary. I have friends in England who shake their head every time this is reported, but at least in North America our nerds have the deceny to only reveal themselves in comic stores and conventions. They may dress funny, but they don't scale buildings... yet. Though anyone who has been to the Comic-Con International in San Diego will attest to the fact that perhaps if some of these fans showered, they wouldn't have to hide and frankly, the UK comic conventions smell much better. So let's all hail the Queen, eh?

But am I the only one who finds it hilarious that Captain America is being used to espouse the rights of British fathers? And yes, there is a Captain Britain who is much revered in his homeland.

Why We Fight (Part 3)

2005-03-02T02:05:00.000-08:00

To begin, I'd like to thank everyone who's supported the blog thus far. I'd love to see some more comments, but the feedback is much appreciated. I've been busy but my goal is to update each week with (3) seperate topics- Why We Fight, Nerd Bling and some random, likely soap opera, related update. I'm looking at writing about weightlifting sometime, but I'm trying to figure out what to say that hasn't been said.

Ambition is a double edged sword- on one hand it is utterly commendable and admirable, but on the other hand, it's something that can lead us to be so focused, so driven that while we're going full speed ahead onto the path we've chosen, the path we believe to be our destiny (for lack of a better term), we miss out on everything else around us. But that's what commitment is, to a degree, isn't it? The absolute devotion to a goal and sacrificing what we must to achieve that goal. Anything less would require us to be distracted by that around us and waver from that mountain we must climb to reach our goal. The thing is, with ambition, you never reach the top of the mountatin, you just take a break, look up and realize that the mountain is far more steep and the top is far higher up than you ever imagined. Everytime you think you see the peak of the mountain you are then forced to realize that you're still in the valley. But without ambition, without the drive to go further, one will never see past the base of the mountain and never suffer the trials that one must experience to become the person they have always been. Without pain, without the loss, our ideals would never be challenged and without that defiance to our way of life, we would never gain the resolve or perseverance to keep climbing.

Life's a Catch-22, from start to finish.

This has all come to mind because of my recent career, uh, "u-turn" has left me wondering if my ambition and enthusiasm for my ideals are the source of my anger and I'm also wondering if I've turned a blind eye to what I do have in my life.

And now it is time for the obligatory "cool" picture from Angel.

We now return to our regularly scheduled whining.

My goal, though seemingly cliched, is to do good and leave this world a better place than when I got here. This doesn't mean I'm a hero or a good guy, it simply means that the sum of my desires is to fight for what's right in this world. I've been blessed with the best friend I could ask for- my dear friend Jamie Au- and some other amazing people in my life. I have a family that loves me and supports me. I simply want to do what I can to protect those that are close to me, and all those in this world that wish not ill on their fellow human being, so that as I take my final breath, I'll know that I did good. Without getting into my philosopical and spiritual beliefs, that's the easiest way to explain it all. The whims of flesh and folly are meant for those other than myself.

Now I'm left with a void in terms of how to achieve these goals. All around me I see the compromising of ideals, the line in the sand slowly being moved till it blurs with that of the sea of and the constant graying of the world. Is this reality or is this the reality people have created through accepting the idea that compromise is ok? The mountain climb to victory is hard but I do believe that when we are about to close our eyes for the final time, we'll see the top of the mountain at that moment, as the snowy white peak fades to black and all is quiet. But no matter how hard I try to position myself to do all I know I can, I feel as though the world is fighting hard to not let me be the man I know I can be and do the good I know needs to be done. It just doesn't make sense and it leads me to wonder what I'm missing to finally see the true path I'm meant to walk.

The thought has occurred to me to attempt to simply move myself up the corporate ladder into a place where money and power offer me the opportunity to comfort those I love in ways I simply cannot do at this point. While the assistance may only be monetary, there is a certain charm to the idea that one can simply take cares of a friend's financial troubles with a simple phone call or help someone achieve a dream with a word or two into the right ears. That one's name may open doors to paths that never existed... if one forgets that the corporate machine serves no one but itself. To allow oneself to be in the business of doing business necessitates a broader world view and to look above "ground level" issues that need bandaging. If I were to become a cog in the machine, no matter my intentions, would those moments of kindness to those I love be enough to satisfy my desires? Would my daily routine do any good to those around me or would I lose out on a chance to affect lives positively?

Now I do believe that we can all make a difference at any given moment. In the corporate world, being a good boss can give someone a chance to provide for their family and to enjoy their 9-5, as well as foster a postive climate that may offer co-workers a new perspective on what it means to be part of a team. Those positive effects are immeasurable. The problem is that in the back of my mind, I feel as though I, and this isn't a judgement on the merits of anyone else's ambitions, need to be fighting the good fight with every moment and I have a very specific view of how to do it. From the military to the police to the fire department, my aspirations involve very hands on and competitive fields, areas that are also hindered by a lack of funding from government sources. I've narrowed my path down to these jobs and I can't imagine myself taking another direction, which may mean I'm blinding myself to other opportunities or not letting myself truly embrace the value of other opportunities. It's just that the aforementioned areas feel so right, as far as I can tell from my brief forays or research into those fields and when something feels that right, it's hard to let it go. I'd call it love. Maybe it's just delusion. Still, I do believe that I can make the maximum contribution in those ares and I'm fighting to make it to where I want to be.

But what am I losing sight of in the process?

In preparing for what I'd hoped would be a military career, now not a possibility due to bureaucratic BS, I had to deal with a lot and in particular, prepare myself for my own death. It's a concept I've faced before for various reasons, but this time I felt no fear or remorse if my life were to end. This isn't to say I wished an end, but that there'd be no inner anger if confronted with such a situation. I also began to realize what made me happy and how much I spent time & money on things in my life that didn't contribute to true happiness, but rather acted as a form of temporary therapy that only made the pain worse when it wore off. Much like a drug, money and materialism infect us from the inside out and are never quite as good as the first time.

I also realized that in order to achieve my goals, to fight that never ending battle, the concept of a relationship needed to be discarded or at least, put on the side. Now I know lots of people can balance their altruism with their love life, but I personally have put my goals at the top of my priority list and that means anyone else in my life has to take second place, not a distant second mind you, but second place nonetheless. I don't think it's fair to ever ask anyone to commit to you but to not be able to put them at the top of your priority list- it'd take an exceptional person to not only accept, but also embrace that kind of life and I won't pretend it constitutes any girl's dream. I remember looking in the eyes of someone I care for very dearly and explaining that, "I've got no reason to stay here" (sic) and wondering if I believed that or if I just needed her to believe that. It's hard to have such strong affection for someone, so much so that sometimes it overpowers you, and know you have to keep the mission in the front of your mind & at the root of all your actions. Breaking hearts does no one any good.

I'm not sure that relationships are all I've chosen to put to the wayside, but I can say that I'm looking at life with new eyes as I must reconsider the path I must walk. I do have goals but I'm only human and I need to make sure I have a safety net to support me when I fall. The mission will always be there- it's a never ending battle after all- and I'll always want to fight it, but my ability to fight it will be diminished if I continually fall with no one to catch me or worse, no one to care. In failing at my current attempts to serve my ideals, I've found that many things I've tabooed in my own mind- relationships, the follies of flesh, comic books, film, television- have come to give me the strength to stand back up again.

That all raises the question- is it possible for me to fight the fight by sometimes stepping away to catch my breath? And if so, what constitutes an acceptable breather from the war? It is said that evil only happens when good men do nothing, but perhaps seeking comfort with another, whether a person or circumstance, isn't really the "nothing" I imagined.

COMING SOON

- My "AMC" article
- More Comic Book Goodness
- Anticipation for "The Shield" Season 4
- An "Angel" retrospective

"Angel" FCC Complaints

2005-03-01T23:51:00.000-08:00

(click on the title link)

Seriously.

It's a show about a vampire.

So you're going to complain because the vampire bites someone?

.... these right wing nut job groups are really destroying the credibility of "morality" and "family values," ideals that are worth fighting for, but whose meaning and relevance is undermined by these ridiculous PTC claims.

Nerd Bling- The Love Of Super-Heroes (Part 3)

2005-02-21T20:00:00.000-08:00

I'll be saving the comic book "must-read" list for a later date, as there's some ground to cover here and not much time to do it in.

If you're a comic book fan and admit it to someone, chances are you get that look. And if you're not a comic book fan and have talked to someone who is, chances are you gave them that look. The "Oh my god, you'll never get laid 'cause you spank it to pin-up posters of Supergirl" look. As we've discussed previously, the comic book medium is viewed as some childish genre as opposed to a full fledged artistic medium to express emotion. One need only read Maus or Scott Pilgrim to see the emotion in comic books. While the former is a study of discrimination & the Holocaust, the latter is a fun filled tale about love and the lengths we go to have it all, while being oblivious to our own stupidity.

So what's wrong about being a comic book fan?

Note that I'm not talking about the crazy, nutso fans whose lives were "destroyed" or their "passion" was "forever harmed" (their words) by Spider-Man gaining organic web-shooters in the films. In the comic books, Peter Parker somehow managed to create the webbing on his own and fund this research and as the fanboys assert, it stretches credibilty for the spider bite to imbue Parker with webbing ability. No, it isn't unrealistic for a teenager to be bit by a radioactive spider, which should kill him, and gain super strength, super speed and a vague spider-sense. No, the unrealistic part is that Peter Parker can shoot webbing out of his wrists because god knows when most people get exposed to concentrated amounts of radiation, only good things happen such as hair loss and death. Yeah, these fans are a tad scary, but this is the same of any sports fanatic or film buff who goes too far- the key is moderation.

The segment of comic books fans that I'm trying to shed light on are the ones similar to any regular person. We all have our likes and dislikes, way of relaxing and entertainment preferences. As an artistic medium, comic books are no less valid than books, music, television or film. We're all able to appreciate some aspect of those mediums, even if we're not interested by the technical aspects of the mediums, and society considers those mediums to be "cool." So it's interesting that the comic book medium, which involves both the interpretation of visual and lingusitic cues (thus creating the unique "language" I mentioned), is so trivialized in general.

Why is this appreciated less than those who guzzle beer as they watch sports? Or those who garb themselves in a plethora of sports team related apparel? Or those who have to see movies on their opening weekends and have huge DVD collections? Or those who, as mentioned before, gather to watch American Idol in large groups?

Simple answer: there's no difference.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with liking super-heroes. It neither harms anyone nor does it encourage any inappropriate behaviour or lines of thinking. In fact, super-hero comics are full of clearer sets of morals and direct ways of embodying them (in part due to the simplistic hero origins). They encourage "noble" and "heroic" behaviour, along the way providing many opportunities for the reader themselves to debate what is truly right and what is truly wrong. I'm sure you'll find lots of people in the public service sector who've been inspired by these tales, either as a child or as an adult (perhaps even both).

This is re-affirmed by the popularity of comic book films in recent years. People like heroes. We like to be inspired. Even the Seth Cohen character on Fox's The O.C shows that the mainstream is adapting to this comic popularity- when else can you remember the most popular character of a popular show being openly obsessed with comic books and the show devoting significant air time to that obsession?

Perhaps people are so surprised and/or put off by the love that some show for the comic book medium because they don't understand the medium. They don't know the "classics" or the "language" being spoken, whether it be panel structure or talk about the strength of Adamantium vs Nth Metal. Comic books have gone from mainstream media available in grocery stores to a product available in select locations across the country. This is not only a shift in business, but a paradigm shift for people outside the fan base or industry- now comic books are like music and you need a little information to be "in the know." There are a lot of ways to learn about current music and a lot of different flavors of music available every week. The same is true for comics on the holiest of days for fans, the day we call Wednesday, but the difference is that the neurotic, obsessive comic book fans are often the ones "civilians" encounter in trying to approach the medium. Then there's a difference in product availability- there's only one Jay Z album, for example, a year and that's not hard to get into. But if you try and get into the X-Men, for example, you have a couple of dozen comics about them every month, meaning over 200 comics a year to get the "full" X-Men picture.

Once again, the companies aren't fostering an open environment to attract new readers and that in turn causes some to write off the medium and the fans themselves. There's a reason that France and Japan have accepted comic books in the mainstream- perhaps it is simply the lack of diluting the product with too many concurrent releases of product with the same characters. It's no wonder that comic fans seem odd to the outside world- why the hell do we need to see 15 adventures of Wolverine every month at $3 a pop? And why do we obsess over "continuity" errors more than story "quality?"

Not all of us do. Not all of us need every comic with Superman's cape making a cameo. Some of us do but just because they're the loudest, doesn't mean they represent us all. Comic books are a medium. Fans are as unique as the medium. Just remember that the next time you're eating nachos in front of the Super-Bowl, guzzling beer and preparing your "sick day" excuse for the next day, that you're no better or worse than the guy walking into the comic book store and getting excited at a new volume of GTO.

Special thanks to Comics Continuum for the above images.

Coming Soon:
- "Must Read" list of comic books
- Why the current comic book industry isn't appealing to me
- A spotlight on AMC
- Further additions to "Why We Fight"

Nerd Bling- The Love of Super-Heroes (Part 2)

2005-02-19T20:50:00.000-08:00

When we last left, the question was posed: What's so bad about being a comic book fan? And what's so bad about super-heroes?

We'll start with the latter question first, as it seems that comic book fans are automatically assumed to love super-heroes with an unholy passion reserved only for the Super Bowl and/or sex; unfortunately, most people don't realize that comic books are a medium, not a message unto themselves, and there exists within this medium a variety of books from a variety of genres for a variety of readers. Now super-heroes are fine and dandy if they're brought to life on the big screen it seems and box office figures of the X-Men and Spider-Man films seem to support that, though small screen shows such as Justice League Unlimited and Smallville seem to not be as "acceptable" ways to experience super-heroes, even if thousands upon thousands of people more watch Smallville than will ever pick up a Superman comic book in this lifetime.

One can't forget that super-heroes are rooted in simplistic, child like fantasties of power and pleasure, action and adventure, even if some seem to have subtext, for example, the bondage subtext in Wonder Woman stories and the pro-immigration stance of the original Superman stories. This of course doesn't count to infamous "imaginary" subtext imagined by Dr. Wertham in the 50's, as chronicled in his Seduction Of The Innocent book, namely the theory that Batman and Robin were gay lovers. This was derived all from the way they stood with their legs apart and the lack of women in their life. That 60's Batman episode where Batman can't tell that a girl has dressed up like Robin to infiltrate the Bat-Cave adds layers to the discussion... but I'm wandering. Most people were introduced to super-heroes during their childhood and associate them with that part of their past, especially with the inherent simplicity of the characters at times. Clark Kent disguises himself with glasses. Batman breaks the law... to punish those who break the law, except his breaking the law is o.k. The X-Men are hated and feared even though they all look like super-models and on the outside seem to be normal people. Spider-Man is angsty because he's got a super model girlfriend, a maternal figure that loves him and solid work as a photographer (or whatever job they give him). I'll concede that it takes a lot of suspension of disbelief, but that's part of the fun of reading about super-heroes: they're incredible people in incredible situations who do good. Modern comic books have a lot more gray areas and philosophy integrated into their tales, but at the end of the day we're reading about good people overcoming tragedy to do what is right and improve the world.

I can dig that.

And because most people read comics during the 60's and 70's (a time of simpler stories, which isn't to disrespect the classic work, but a time of simpler stories) or the early 90's (the time of excess marketing and "speculation" gimmicks), there's a skewed view of comic books in general. I can understand that to a degree- it makes sense that you'd judge super-hero comic books based on your experience with them. But to extend that judgement to the whole medium and current storytelling- not to mention all the classic work from the last century- is pure folly. Let's say you saw the film Elektra and hated it- does that make all action movies bad? Or super-hero films? No, and I can't think of a single person who'd presume to make such a judgement. But people often flip through a comic, dismiss it as "crap" and then proceed to use that as evidence of the medium's worth, or lack thereof in this case.

It's utterly insane.

The other problem with super-hero comics is similar to any niche product- it can be hard to get into it all. Especially with any major character such as Spider-Man or Batman, you're looking at dozens of books just about that character every month, not to mention all the cameos or appearances in other books. You're also talking about an industry that can seem SO navel gazing and introverted that it turns away people, creating bitterness and resentment within those trying to learn about comics. "Genre" fiction, whether it be Buffy The Vampire Slayer or super-hero related tales have been a hard sell since the 90's, as an entire generation found super hero comics and related genre fiction to be vacuous- right or wrong, the emphasis was on "collectors' items" or "foil enhanced chromium cancer curing covers with artificial intelligence." Regardless of merits, X-Men #1 didn't sell 8.1 million copies (thus the best-selling comic of all time and most comics have a hard time breaking 100k these days) on the strength of the brand alone. It was seen as a new #1 issue, believed to have higher value and the 5 different covers didn't hurt sales at all for "completisits" and speculators who are no doubt sitting on hundreds of copies of this book at home. So we've had an entire generation miss out on comic books because they're parents or older siblings were "burned" on their purchases and concurrently, the video game market drove itself into the homes of many. Now the mainstream acceptance of video games has been very recent, but I can remember that even in my high school days, loving to play the new Madden game on Sega Genesis wasn't un-cool at all. But then again, there's the sports factor that we'll be addressing soon as well.

From talking to comic book "skeptics," it's also clear that many feel there's something inherently immature about super-heroes and based on the visuals, it's understandable. From women in thongs fighting crime to men who'd put Adonis to shame, there's a definite male power trip aspect to super-heroes that hasn't been addressed. There's a reason that Elektra shows more skin that Captain America. Can you imagine him dressed in the Wonder Woman costume?

It's interesting that people can gather in bars with alcohol to celebrate the end of Sex In The City and while some catty comments will be made about those gathering, it isn't socially inacceptable- after all, it's being done in a large public area and no one's really walking by to ridicule them. Or what about the large parties people had on Thursdays to celebrate new episodes of Friends? Regardless of the merits of the show, one can't deny that the series hinged on coincidence, hyperbole and entirely unrealistic lifestyles, but it managed to become a cultural phenomenon and net the involved parties more money that any of us reading this will ever see. Was it the lack of costumes or powers that made it more acceptable? Or was it the pretty people? As with many comics, the focus of the series was the relationships between the main characters and how they worked to achieve their goals. Much like super-hero comics. Look at how people can watch re-runs of Seinfeld day after day after day without overt ridicule (generally), but if you're caught reading a comic book, you're meant to feel like the 10 year old whose mother just caught him spanking the monkey to a new issue of Playboy (which really does have good articles by the way).

I'm not going to pretend to be some expert on human psychology or provide an answer to why super-heroes are viewed so poorly. I'd like to think we all make decisions for ourselves and somewhere along the line, the masses have decided that super-heroes on the printed page or small screen are not as cool as seeing them on the big screen. Maybe it's the event mentality of seeing a film or that in some minds, a concept as a film has added legitimacey.

Or maybe we just need to give people some good comic books and by golly, there are lots of them.

Tomorrow: What's so wrong about comic book fans? And what's a good list of comics for the new reader?

Coming Soon: A day by day spotlight on some of my favorite super-heroes and explaining why they resonate with me so deeply.

Nerd Bling- The Love of Super-Heroes

2005-02-19T12:10:00.000-08:00

When you think of comic books and the "fan boys" who love them (because we don't associate girls with comics in North America), a very distinct image and reaction comes to mind- the "Comic Book Guy" from The Simpsons in the case of the former and likely some sarcastic, condescending comment in the case of the latter. Comic book fans are losers, right? People so unable to connect with the rest of society that they spend days watching Lord Of The Rings movie marathons and debating the merits of various females in various superheroine costumes. If you go to the Comic-Con International in San Diego every year, you're likely to find a lot of people who fit that mold- that fact cannot be contested. The smell of the convention hall is something to marvel at, though it is much like tear gas at first- survive the initial gagging and vomit reflex before moving forward.

But if you look closely, really closely, you'll see that there's a whole segment of comic book fans not driven crazy by minutae and living their life for fictional characters. Actually, it's no more worse (relatively speaking) than NFL fans in the American heartland or those in Oakland who feel the need to urinate on those cheering for the opposing team. Is one better than the other? You could go back and forth on the merits, but the easy comparison to sports fanatics- who are admittedly far more violent than comic fans (did you see towns set on fire when Superman "died?")- begs a more serious question: why are comic book fans so reviled and loathed by the masses?

To examine this issue, one needs to examine the roots of most comic book fans and when they first encounter comic books: Childhood (and yes, for simplicty's sake, I'll be focusing on super-heroes). There's an innocence in how a child views life and fiction in general, so superheroes seem to fit that mold just fine- they're often characters built upon black & white concepts of morality, so a child can use them to develop their own sense of right and wrong, as well as see these big, bold fantastic images they won't find anywhere else, except perhaps done in a low budget version on Power Rangers. I remember getting hooked on almost every comic I read a child simply because it all looked so "cool" (mostly comics from the 70's-80's) and it was a way to see the hero win using their brains and their brawn. It gave me something to aspire to and think about till Transformers came on at 16:00, at which point I desperately wished to be a boom box that transformed into a robot (aka the Autobot known as Blaster). Anyway... the point is that super-heroes were and always have been the way to see the really cool, the really fun and really exciting good vs evil battles enacted on the printed page. While other mediums are of course wonderful, there's something wonderfully unique about picking up a super-hero comic because of the language used to tell the stories and the sheer amount of genres & topics that one can address subversively with these comics. Plus, it's reading and if you're reading something you like, your mom can't make you read one of those books without pictures, as that seems to be torture for any kid, unless the books are Hardy Boys books. Ah, Chet and the Jalopy. Those were the days.

During the teen years, people start to find themselves and you can probably remember how your love of comic books went from being something you could talk with everyone about to something shared less and less by your friends. The simplicity of most comic books- at least at the core, from the morality to things like Clark Kent's "disguise"- causes the passion to fall by the wayside as fanboys discover girls, drugs, alcohol and sports, and sometimes in that order too. At this point comic book fans, because of the immaturity at that age, often feel like they have to hold on tighter to their passion for the medium (or perhaps just Wolverine) and we see the disconnect that causes the "cool" kids and the nerds to have much wider gaps between them. For better or worse, this is the time when people either swear allegiance to comic books or leave them. I could go into a whole rant about why the industry doesn't welcome new readers, but that is for a later time.

So at the end of this, many fans feel rejected by society and become the kind of people you see on message boards, endlessly debating the most insignificant things ("Batman would never drink coffee! He's a self made creature of the night with no need for caffeine!") or feeling closer to Spider-Man, for example, than they do to others... or themselves.

But like I said, there's a large part of the comic reading population that's more level headed about men in spandex and/or just loves the medium for the storytelling languages found within the pages of a variety of work, from Slow News Day to Blankets to Astonishing X-Men. For these fans, they grew up loving comic books as children but instead of clutching on to their childhood perceptions and reasons for loving these characters, they integrated those into their now mature worldviews to create a true passion for the medium. So what's so bad about them? And what's so bad about super-heroes?

More To Come Later Today...

A taste of what's to come concerning AMC

2005-02-19T00:33:00.000-08:00

I've had a few people asking me what I'd be covering regarding soap operas, so I'll provide a brief overview. I'll tackle this by Tuesday, though I may present my essay on fictional characters first- it's all a matter of how I use my time and my mood.

All My Children- The good & The bad: the title explains it all. I'll be looking at the show from my perspective and explaining why it's all worth watching, despite some major shortcomings. I also want to address the social issues explored by the show and how the presentation of the show- on a daily basis- affects the viewing experience.

This will come in the next week or two depending on real life circumstances permitting said ruminations.

Thoughts?

Why We Fight (Part 2)

2005-02-18T16:20:00.000-08:00

I've decided to keep this "Why We Fight" title as the name of the posts where I address more "philosophical" aspects of my life and my own experiences as I try to find my way. I'll have a new post at least every week or so.

"Heroes don't accept the world the way it is. They fight it"- Lindsey McDonald, Angel S5 (thanks to City Of Angel for the picture).

I find this to be an interesting point of view, especially with the thoughts running through my head of late- at what point is the reality of our lives so solid and unmoving that we must accept- tolerate?- our current climate, whether speaking in the broad sense or a more personal POV. After all, if we did not push the boundaries and try to grasp the unknown, we'd have not the successes of mankind. Which limits are life are the most acceptable and which must be challenged?

And at what point does challenging the system become an exercise in futility and necessitate moving one's view back to the, at the risk of being cliched, "big picture?"

At what point must dreams be tempered by reality?

2005-02-18T11:31:00.000-08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

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Upcoming Posts on Arune.Com's Blog

2005-02-17T21:00:00.000-08:00

To give you all a preview of what's to come:

I'll be looking at Soap Operas, why they get a bad rap and why I feel that "All My Children" is a show deserving of a lot of respect. For those long time viewers, I'll ignore the whole "Santa Claus" fiasco and I will praise the "acting" of Zen Gesner, who played "Braeden Lavery" on the show. The show is probably the first piece of television I remember from my childhood and there are many a cherished a memory of my mother and I watching AMC while I was home on sick days. The trials and tribulations of actor Cameron Mathison have been a source of huge inspiration to me and the show has become my 1 hour refuge every day. I turn it on while I run on the treadmill and suddenly everything else fades away. I'm entertained. Isn' t that one of the big, important aspects of all creativity? To entertain?

People have always loved soaps as long as they weren't daytime affairs. Look at the success of the X-Men comics under Chris Claremont's tenure. Or the whole 90210/ Melrose Place/ O.C/ Desperate Housewives phenomenons. We all love soap.

There'll also be a retrospective on the "Angel" television series and why, to this day, it has impacted me more than almost any other work of fiction to which I've been introduced. The fifth season came out on DVD and it's a great ending to the show. If nothing else, "Smile Time" is absolute comedy genius and "Not Fade Away" is the best ending you could hope for from a television show. The sick part of me always hoped Angel (vampire cursed w/a soul) would finally become human again only to get run over by a random bus, just to show the screwed up side of life, but I loved this ending.

Oh, and BUY "Firefly" dammit!

Finally, I'll be focusing on my favorite superheroes and explaining why some characters resonate so much with me beyond my own nostalgic memories and how I think these characters could reach a larger audience.

I'll also follow it up with a little essay on the merits of looking to superheroes for inspiration and guidance, from how it affects a child to how an adult can interpret these colorful characters and apply lessons to their lives. There'll of course be comments as to how people are viewed when they're so fascinated with these fictional characters- expect this "essay" to be the sum of many posts.

Why We Fight

2005-02-17T18:56:00.000-08:00

Due to circumstances of late, I'm wondering- at what point are we forced to compromise our goals, whether it be due to tempering our dreams with reality or fate knocking us down?

If one has a goal that they hold onto, that is entirely realistic and encompasses the sum of all one's ambition, what does one do if that dream is extinguished from reality? It's rare that we ever get a chance to truly embrace the fires bruning inside us and when we do... I doubt we ever have enough time to revel in the sweet embrace of destiny. Or at least that moment where everything feels right.

The happiest memory of my life is when I did my firefighter test years ago. At the risk of being arrogant, I aced it, but that wasn't what made the experience so special- it was the fact I was part of something larger and that every moment I was in the class, being trained or working on aspects of my test, I was working towards the greater good of this world. I was living my dream with every breath. I've worked to recapture that ever since. And why not? I achieved that moment of happiness we all long for and I'd be silly to not aspire to make every moment of my life like that.

The fates have conspired to keep my latest plans from coming to fruition and the thing is, those plans felt perfect- there was no doubt in my mind. The rest of my life was planned. As I prepared myself for my service in the coming future, I could feel the person inside of me waking up from too long a slumber and feeling the sun shine down on him for the very first time. Now it feels like a dream of something that can never be, something that will always be the "that is where I should be" kind of moment that carries with me.

If I'm right and that path was encompassing everything I wanted from life- the physical, spiritual and altruistic aspects- then how will I be happy with whatever I do now? Perhaps I'm being a tad bratty or unrealistic, but there's a high purpose for us all and I believe I'm acutely aware of mine, though my every attempt to embrace those goals on a larger scale seems to fail.

No matter how I move forward in my life, I won't be doing what I truly want to be doing- it'll be second place. I think of a career like marriage- you gotta wait for the perfect woman or when she comes along, you'll realize your marriage is nothing but a consolation prize.

I want to make a difference. I want to fight the good fight. But if I can't do that the way I want, then what's left for me to do? Am I living my life then, if I'm "settling" for a career that I can't love with all my heart?

Now this latest venture didn't fail because of me per se- I scored 99% or higher on every test I took. I was ready for all the future training, even better physically and mentally than is expected. But things just happened and now I can't pursue that path. That big life plan of mine is no longer viable.

Ironically enough, I've never had more career options in front of me then now and many of them offer excellent pay in a short while. But I'm not able to grasp those opportunities because I know I just stared my destiny, my path to happiness, straight in the face and it turned its back on me. I am lucky, I am blessed and have two of the best friends I could ask for in the form of my friends Jamie & Arthur. I'm not meaning to complain about my life- I've got a good one- but I'm trying to understand the intense anger inside me everything I take that leap and try to be something more.

There's a line in the "Batman Begins" trailer where Liam Neeson's character says something to the effect of, "If you want to become more than a man... if you embrace an ideal... you become something else entirely" and I do believe that. I believe it doesn't require us all to be Superman to embrace our ideals. But I do believe that for me, I need to be in the service of the public, fighting the good fight every moment of my day and working on the largest scale I can.

There are a lot of ways to make a difference in the world. From simply being a good boss who provides a great working environment to the doctor working her butt off in the ER, goodness and greatness come together in many unique combinations. But my problem isn't that I don't know how to most effectively give back to this world or that I don't know why I'm fighting.

My problem is that nothing in this world seems to want me to be that man.

Getting Up Early.

2005-02-13T05:35:00.000-08:00

Getting up early and/or not sleeping much is actually quite manageable after the first ten minutes of agony that occur after you "wake up." Get a glass of water, check your e-mail and you're almost ready to take on the day.

Try it some time. You'll be surprised how far you get after those first few moments.

Expect massive Arune.Com updates next week. It's going to look as good as it can without more advanced Java or image editing skills- I still write all my html in notepad. Old school, yo.

More To Come

2005-02-12T20:43:00.000-08:00

This is just a temporary post till I have time to update this.

Please visit Arune.Com in the meanwhile.